I’m learning Cantonese. Yes, you’ve read right, I’ve decided to learn a language that most people deem to be among the hardest to learn. Why? I do spend a lot of time in Hong Kong for a start. And I’ve always been a lover of languages. I know, English is widely spoken in the Island City, even if slightly less these days with the increasing number of Chinese migrants from the mainland who speak only Mandarin. The grammar is not too hard though, it’s more the pronunciation and the seven (or nine, according to some linguists) tones that prove to be a challenge. Anyway, I asked my tutor about greetings last week, and she didn’t know what to say. In Cantonese, there’s a word for good morning (Jouhsan) and a word for G’day or Nice to meet you (Neih hou). To be sure to understand how to use them properly, I asked her what you said to a taxi driver. She stopped to think. After a few seconds of intense reflection, she admitted that you don’t greet taxi drivers in Hong Kong: you just tell them where you want to go, and that’s that! None of these silly formalities. Then she added in all seriousness, “There’s too many people in Hong Kong, you can’t waste your time saying Hi to everyone.” I had to laugh, but the Hong Kong greeting etiquette took me many years back, when I was growing up in France.
Every morning, at school, we had to follow the same routine: Boys shook hands (of friends and students from the same class) and kissed girls on the cheek (discrimination, discrimination!). Girls didn’t shake hands, they simply kissed everybody, whether boys or girls. Needless to say, it took a long time to do the rounds, and I didn’t like it. To tell the truth, it took forever. You also had to be smart and find ways to avoid kissing girls you didn’t like or who had a cold on a particular day, or who you simply wanted to ignore. All in all, it was a big kissing, hand-shaking fest every morning, and the same thing would happen again at the time of parting, after class. Did I mention it wasn’t one kiss, but two kisses? One on each cheek, for balance. That’s because I grew up in North Eastern France. In other regions, they do it three times - a lucky cheek gets two kisses and the other one only one. It’s important to start with the right cheek or you end up nose to nose (the way Eskimos greet, according to my mum). It was easy at school, because everybody came from the same area and kissed exactly the same number of times. But when you met someone for the first time, you didn’t know where they were from and how many kisses you were supposed to give: one, two, or three (very rarely have I seen four). The result being that more often than not ,you ended up thrusting your head forward stupidly, only to meet empty air as the other person pulled their head back. It made for comic situations, to say the least.
Now I live in Australia, and things are different of course. Not too much kissing, but a lot of hugging, which suits me fine. Often a general wave to the audience will be enough. There’s still a bit of kissing of course – people you know well – a quick peck on the cheek or on the lips. It took me a while to get used to the kiss on the lips. In France, people squirm at the idea of kissing friends on the lips. How unhygienic! The famous French kiss is for lovers, and is much more complex anyway. My French friends and family believe we Australians are quite cold. Without kissing and skin to skin contact, the world is not worth living, according to them. I can’t help thinking that a good hug, heart to heart, body to body, is in fact much warmer than a quick peck with no body contact, but you’re not going to change their minds. I visit my parents in France every year, in July or August. And every time I brace myself: after a year of not seeing each other (other than on Skype of course) all I get is two light kisses, one on each cheek. I tried to tell them, only to be met by blank faces… After spending twelve years on the other side of the world, I know where I belong…